Hakuouki: World of the Sleep Deprived
by AzureArchxngel
Summary: As the title implies, this is where I'll put all my stories based off of my sleep deprivation: a collection of hilarious ideas from misunderstandings (and my eyes not quite working properly). Guaranteed to be full of randomness, with hopefully as much humor as Hakuouki Blogs! Only updates when sleep deprivation hits. Rated T just to be safe (who knows what will happen...)


**Azure: So I decided to take a bit of a break from Promise and decided to create my own spin off of the story ImpracticalDemon wrote, "Hell Hath No Fury Like An Oni Scorned".**

 **Hijikata: Oh good lord... I wonder how this is going to turn out.**

 **Azure: I'm actually quite proud of it, which is extremely rare for me, thank you very much.**

 **Souji: Hmmm... Well, if it's anything like ImpracticalDemon's, this should prove to be very entertaining!**

 **Azure: You actually have quite a major role in this Souji, so I believe you will be entertained by this. Saitou, what are your thoughts?**

 **Saitou: ...I... suppose I'm a bit intrigued...**

 **Azure: Just to let you guys know, there is mention of pretty gruesome stuff: violence, blood, gore, all that... lovely, stuff. You have been warned!**

 **Harada: Honestly, if they watched our anime, I don't think they're going to be too bothered by this.**

 **Azure: STOP PICKING ON THE FOURTH WALL**

* * *

A lone man was making his way down a lone dirt road, coming back from the Shimabara happy and drunk. There was a noticeable blush on his face due to the sake, and a slight loss of balance in his steps from being tipsy. But the man didn't know that. Good thoughts were the only thing in his head, and the liquid courage fueled his feeling of invincibility. This man felt that, no matter what appeared before him, he would be able to fight them off and defeat them easily to show the world just how great of a samurai he is. If he was lucky, his acts of valor might even get him a wife...

With that thought in mind, the man began to giggle. Oh, how that would be wonderful! He always thought how good looking he was, and was honestly surprised as to why not one single woman had fallen for him yet. His appearance shouldn't be the problem. Perhaps he just needed to show off more acts of valor to express what a wonderful man he is. In particular, maybe he could fight someone that is known for having incredible skill with the sword, and defeat him in battle...

That's it! Everyone in Kyoto knows of the infamous Shinsengumi. Supposedly, each of their captains is a force to be reckoned with, and that all who challenge them end up utterly defeated and humiliated... or worse, dead. Heck, even the normal foot soldiers, because they had received training from men of such caliber, were said to be fairly strong and skilled with the sword.

The drunk man, who had once been walking down the street with a hop in his step, all of a sudden stopped to scheme his victory. Yes... that's it! If he ever saw one of the Shinsengumi captains when they were completing their rounds, he would immediately challenge them to a duel. Naturally, the captain would lose, and the man would emerge as a winner and someone stronger than one of the feared Shinsengumi captains.

This samurai was so drunk and so absorbed in his own little world that he didn't even notice the lurking figures behind him. They continued to creep closer and closer as if stalking prey. Just as the man finally noticed something was up...

"A-A-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

The man was no more, as his body collapsed to the floor, torn and shredded to bits as if he had been mauled. One of the figures stood above the corpse, fresh blood dripping from his lips. Below this figure was a terrifyingly huge pool of blood, presumably from the dead samurai on the floor. The figure that was standing above the man gave him a sniff and gave what almost seemed to be a growl. Lifting its head in the air, the figure took a deep breath before emitting an eerie howl. The other encroaching figures heard this call of victory and followed suit.

The full moon hung high in the air, basking the bloody city of Kyoto in a silver color.

* * *

Something was clearly wrong, captain Okita Souji of the Shinsengumi noticed as he patrolled the streets. This morning, something seemed to be plaguing the citizens more than usual. Their fear seemed to settle over the town like a fog, and the looks of worry and distrust were clearly visible on the faces of many.

 _I wonder what's wrong... Strange, though, that the news of whatever happened hasn't reached the Shinsengumi yet..._

"Ne, Okita-san, what happened? Why is everyone so... afraid?" Asked Chizuru, who was accompanying Souji on his rounds. The said man continued to steal glances at passing individuals to get some clue as to what happened, but he has yet to receive an answer.

"I'm not entirely sure, Chizuru-chan. It's been a while since the townsfolk were like this, so I honestly couldn't say..." Souji replied to the girl at his side. Soon, a smile crossed his lips as he thought of a certain possibility. "From what I've gathered so far, seems like there was a murder yesterday evening."

"Eh?! You can tell just from looking around?" Chizuru asked in surprise. Souji peered down at her and decided to give her a lesson in the art of observation; something the Shinsengumi captains really needed if they were to survive in battle.

"Chizuru-chan, do you notice how everyone looks terrified?"

"Y-Yes..."

"Some of them are terrified of something, however, most of them look like they're afraid that they're next... as if something is out to get them. That's also why they look and act so distrusting of each other."

Now that Souji mentioned it, Chizuru did see it in the citizens as well. They were being awfully cautious, as if someone could turn on them and stab them in an instant. They were much more reserved, and there was little to no children or women in the streets. Suddenly, what Souji said made a lot more sense.

"That means we have to be cautious too, Chizuru-chan. We of the Shinsengumi aren't exactly the most... well liked, to put it nicely. Be on guard, and promise me that you won't do anything rash or stupid." At Souji's warning, Chizuru gave a nod to Souji, although it was more to herself than anything else, reminding herself that today wasn't exactly the best opportunity to go looking for her father.

It was a little up ahead when the first division captain and the girl noticed a commotion. Upon further notice, the small crowd in the street ahead was wearing the Shinsengumi haori, and with closer inspection, there stood Heisuke.

Heisuke noticed the heavy footsteps, and turned to look at the first division. "Oh! Souji! Perfect timing, you have to check this out! Come quickly!" Heisuke shouted before waving to motion Souji and the rest of the group over.

When they reached the site, Souji peered down toward the floor, before immediately rushing over to Chizuru.

"Chizuru, you don't want to look at this!" He exclaimed before wrapping Chizuru up in a hug to shield her eyes from the awful sight. On the floor was a bloody corpse, if you could even call it that. Body parts were scattered, muscle and flesh ripped and torn apart savagely. The man seemed like he was in the middle of screaming before being mauled to death, as his mouth was still open, his eyes - or what was left of them - wide with horror. You almost couldn't recognize that it was once a human; it looked like it had always been meat the wolves fed on.

Souji was glad that he saw it first so that he could prevent Chizuru from seeing the hideous thing. She would easily get nightmares if she saw this, doctor's daughter or not.

"O-O-Okita-san?! W-What's going on?! What is it?" Chizuru asked worriedly, her words muffled from being tucked into Souji's chest.

"Quiet, Chizuru-chan!"

"B-But, Okita-san-"

"I SAID QUIET!" Souji yelled, so loudly that not only did it surprise the soldiers and Heisuke, but himself as well. He gave a deep sigh, before taking Chizuru to a nearby alley. Only then did he remove her from the embrace so that he could look her in the eyes.

"I apologize for yelling at you, but... it's pretty bad out there. You're sure to get nightmares from it. Stay here for a moment, and I'll have Heisuke escort you back to headquarters."

"I-It's fine, Okita-san... I think I know the way back to headquarters from here, Heisuke-kun doesn't to need to walk all the way back just for my sake!" Chizuru said, brows creased anxiously, and clearly worried about what happened after hearing Souji's warning.

"No, it's alright, Chizuru-chan. Besides, we're gonna need Hajime-kun and Hijikata-san for this one. Now, stay here, and I'll fetch Heisuke." Like he said he would, Souji left Chizuru in the alley to find Heisuke. It didn't long to find Heisuke's small form amongst the other soldiers that were staring at the body.

"Heisuke," Souji called to get the captain's attention, who looked at Souji with curious and questioning eyes. "I need you to take Chizuru back to headquarters - she doesn't need to see this - and also to get Hijikata-san and Hajime-kun out here to see this." The younger captain gave a nod of understanding and ran away to find Chizuru in the alley. Once he did, the pair ran to the compound as quickly as possible.

Meanwhile, Souji stepped up to the corpse once again and examined it.

 _No human would do this, nor do I think the demons would go this crazy. This almost seems... animalistic._ At that thought, Souji remembered something.

 _Wait... if I remember correctly, this almost looks like... No, it can't be, they would have been under watch... But... who else would turn a corpse into decaying strips of meat?_

It was only a theory, but Souji seemed to believe that it was the only thing that would have caused this predicament.

Souji didn't have to wait long before he saw Hijikata and Saitou racing down the street to meet him. When they arrived, they saw the corpse and grimaced.

"Good grief... Chizuru didn't see this, did she?" Hijikata asked Souji, who gave a shake of his hand before answering the Vice Commander.

"No. I'm glad I checked to see what it was first before Chizuru did. This would have scared her out of her wits." Souji mumbled after heaving a sigh. All three of the men stared down at the corpse before actually doing anything about it.

"If what killed him really is what I'm thinking, then the Aizu really don't need to know of this... particular incident. We'll take the body and deal with it." Hijikata said, now standing up after crouching by the body, leaving Souji, Saitou, and the other soldiers to take care of the mess.

 _We're going to have to talk to Sannan-_ san _about this._

* * *

It was very late that evening when Hijikata set off to find Sannan within the Shinsengumi headquarters. After he saw the state the corpse was in earlier today, he could only think of one thing that was behind the attack. And the only one who knew of the creatures was, well, Sannan.

Hijikata found Sannan in his room (the door was cracked open a touch), who was looking very troubled and reading several different books. The Vice Commander took a deep breath before calling the colonel's attention.

"Sannan-san, I'm coming in." With that announcement, Hijikata slid open the door to step into Sannan's room before closing it.

"Ah, Hijikata-kun. Have a seat." Sannan motioned for Hijikata to sit right in front of him as he quickly cleared a space for his superior to sit. Hijikata didn't say anything as he allowed Sannan to give him some room before sitting on the tatami flooring.

"So, what can I do for you this evening, Hijikata-kun?" Sannan asked, a light smile on his face that looked more tired and strained than anything. Sannan also seemed to have been fretting over something for a while, and obviously hadn't had a break or even something to eat in quite a while.

"Well, Sannan-san, Heisuke's division found a dead body earlier this morning that looked like it was torn to shreds. It was almost... animalistic. Tell me, have they been a bit... hungry, recently?" Hijikata summarized the entirety of the event, and asked Sannan a question.

It appeared that the Vice Commander's hunch was correct, as Sannan replied with, "They must have been. Four of them broke free from their cells yesterday evening, and I haven't been able to track them down since. If they're already slaughtering the townspeople, then we need to find them and kill them immediately."

Hijikata gave a solemn nod and rose to his feet with one final statement before leaving Sannan's room. "I'll gather the captains. We'll take care of this, Sannan-san."

As soon as all the Shinsengumi captains were awake and ready to move, they set off to find the creatures responsible for breaking free and murdering the man that Heisuke had found on the street.

The entire night was filled with the bloodthirsty howls of the supposed creatures they were tracking down.

Each of the captains had split up into pairs to make the search for the creatures easier and much quicker: Saitou and Souji, Heisuke and Shinpachi, Harada and Inoue, while Hijikata was the only one alone. So far, no one had been lucky enough to even spot on of these sly and cunning creatures.

Everyone seemed to treat the mission fairly normally, but Heisuke was the only one who really seemed troubled. He hadn't even seen what these... things, looked like, and from what he saw earlier today, they don't seem especially pleasant. His worry was clear on his face, obvious enough for Shinpachi to notice as they began the search for the beasts.

Suddenly, they both paused, sensing a fearful bloodlust coming from an alley they stood right beside of. When the two men turned around to look to the right, they stood in awe of the creatures that Sannan had created.

There the monstrosities stood: they had the shape, posture, and anatomy of a normal human, but were covered in white, velvet-like fur. They had deep, red pools for eyes with slits that were wide with madness and a thirst for blood, and enormous claws like that of a wolf's, not to mention the fluffy tail that stood on end. Their muzzles were coated with fresh blood, dripping in a constant rhythm from the sharp, white teeth that were revealed from their twisted and inhuman grins.

...Furries.

While Shinpachi stood in place with shock, Heisuke growled in irritation before shouting out loud.

"MAN! Couldn't Sannan-san have made the furries into something less terrifying?! Like, I don't know, rats or something?!"

* * *

"...And that's my story." Souji finished with a grin as his emerald eyes looked up from the scroll that he held in his palms. He stared at Hijikata and Kondou, who were sitting in front of the sick captain, with a cat-like smirk on his face upon seeing the Vice Commander's face.

The said man cleared his throat before looking at Souji with concern and amazement laced in his eyes.

"Wow... you must have been really bored to have written that, Souji..." were the only words that Hijikata ever said about the intriguing piece that Souji had written while recovering from his tuberculosis. Kondou, on the other hand, was very impressed and had a wide, proud smile on his face.

"That was incredible, Souji! Who knew you were such a great writer!" He exclaimed as he walked over to Souji's bed before ruffling his hair in a fatherly manner. Souji, in turn, gave a look of complete content and glee upon being treated like this by the man he looked up to most, as a warrior and a parental figure.

While Kondou and Souji were busy talking about the latter's work, Hijikata sat in silence and pondered to himself.

 _Wait a minute... he wrote about himself and Yukimura almost like they were a couple..._

 _Don't tell me... Oh god..._

* * *

 **Azure: And, there you go! What do you guys think?**

 **Souji: Perhaps I should have pursued a career as a writer instead of becoming a samurai...**

 **Everyone: ...Nah.**

 **Saitou: I think you're fine as a samurai, Souji.**

 **Chizuru: Yes, I can't really see you as an author.**

 **Souji: ...You all are so cruel... TTATT**

 **Hijikata: What the heck is that?**

 **Souji: Those are my misunderstood tears, Hijikata-san.**


End file.
